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Not It, Not Ever

by Jeremy Katzenstein

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1.
Killing Time 02:21
Gone forever, see you never Hope that you remember I was here Before the plane was heading south And we were passing by the airport In distress, inconvenient that we’re crossing in the air I know I was never lucky but this isn’t fair Maybe when I get home I’ll be hearing you again and I won’t be so alone Now You’re too late ‘Cause when I leave at sunrise the world won’t just stop and wait For you To come I’m killing time but the time will never come around again ‘Cause soon I’ll be gone Stupid letters, make it better Maybe you’ll remember I was here If the paper hurts your hands And you take long enough to notice It’s alright, it’s convenient if you want to clear the air I was always kind of hoping that you really cared Maybe when I get home I’ll be hearing you again and I won’t be so alone Now You’re too late ‘Cause when I leave at sunrise the world won’t just stop and wait For you To come I’m killing time but the time will never come around again ‘Cause soon I’ll be gone
2.
Voices crawl through the ceiling cracks and scrape my door I cannot stand the beating on my ears anymore Nowhere’s safe when the walls are paper thin, And I can’t concentrate on all of this The TV is all the way up, but sounds keep creeping in Two is too much It’s still stuck in my pocket, darkness shields it all so well Blissfully turning outward in my sugarcoated shell Nowhere’s safe when you leave your cell phone on And I can’t concentrate on all of this It’s hard to keep this straight face plastered on so long Two is too much Worthless tears are falling from my bloodshot eyes Half-said condemnations push between the broken cries Nowhere’s safe if your words don’t mean a thing And I can’t concentrate on all of this I’m not having kids, it’s too damaging Two is too much Wake me, I’m to believe that everything’s okay Shards of minutes ago are meant to fall away Nowhere’s safe when you speak too soon And I can’t concentrate on all of this Leave me alone now, I don’t want you in my room Two is too much Two is too much Two is too much Two is too much
3.
Weeks are long And days are long And all along the nights are getting longer Even though I’d like to know That time apart will only make us stronger What’s a drive That’s worth the ride When I’m not sure if we could be much farther But when you beg Should I instead Pretend that it’s alright, but now it’s harder I want it all to be okay But I know it’ll never be I want it to be yesterday So you’d still be with me I’m still surprised To realize That you came all this way, and just to see me But if I could Believe it, I would Understand what people aren’t but can be In practice rooms With classic tunes That keep us closer when we aren’t together But later when You leave again I wonder if you really made it better I want it all to be okay But I know it’ll never be I want it to be yesterday So you’d still be with me
4.
Curl Up 02:50
I get you I think It’s different this time It’s hard to keep thinking That you’ll still be mine But I promise that now Is the worst it will be I just need to know You’re still waiting for me It’s not for much longer And the end’s coming near Just because I’m not with you Doesn’t mean I’m not here But the more you remind me The more we digress If only I knew What would be for the best And I know as of yet That I have done nothing right And all our sensibilities Were never worth this fight So I’ll curl up, and grow up For now I tell you I love you But get no response Except “you’re full of shit You’ve been lying for months” And there’s only so much I can say and still mean You can question me always I’ll still come out clean And I feel like I’ve done you The worst of all wrongs A big enough mess up That merits a song In the hopes that someday You’ll hear me as true That I’m far more than certain I’m in love with you And I know as of yet That I have done nothing right And all our sensibilities Were never worth this fight So I’ll curl up, and grow up For now

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released November 15, 2010

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Jeremy Katzenstein Los Angeles

Jeremy Katzenstein is a songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, producer, engineer, and mixer. He enjoys hugs, Scott Pilgrim, and cereal at odd hours of the night.

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